What is the secret of restoring the love and happiness in your marriage?
Both you and your partner need to keep in mind that "Happiness is an inside job." While, ideally, the hope is that your partner will always make you feel great about yourself, the truth is, over time, the intense focus that happens when couples first meet tends to reduce. Life happens, and at some point, “The Honeymoon is over.”
This means that for an intimate relationship to remain vibrant and exciting, you need to do your own work to feel great about being you. You have to validate yourself, enjoying aspects of your life away from your partner. You have to feel joy in your heart, just for being you.
In being fulfilled within yourself, you will then be able to be emotionally generous to your partner, being there for him or her, being giving and loving, without feeling drained, and without feeling needy.
Conflict happens in relationships when each of the partners needs more from their partner than he or she is able to give. This happens quite frequently because initially, your partner will usually have eyes only for you - the other events in his or her life do not appear important. And so filling you up with love and validation will happen automatically. The assumption is that the intense interest will go on forever.
When real life sets in, and it almost always does, the validation and love that initially made you feel so good is no longer as intense. You may start feeling that your partner is not doing enough for you. This is where the conflict begins as your partner and yourself start arguing about not receiving enough love to create that good feeling.
Aside from clarifying and resolving the challenges based on the source issues, the solution usually involves doing some self-reflection to feel whole within yourself. From a place of wholeness, you will be able to enjoy your partner without feeling unloved or abandoned when he or he is not able to be there for you in the same way as when you first met.
The bottom line?... The happier you feel in yourself, the happier your relationship will become. Marriage Counselling with Toronto-based relationship counsellor Andrea J Moses, M.S.W. can create profound shifts in intimacy and happiness. Andrea will guide you to understand the invisible barriers blocking fulfillment, and what you can do to reconnect and heal the gaps in your own self-confidence. As both you and your partner start feeling stronger within yourselves, your relationship will heal as well as blossom!
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|Office:||Marriage Counselling Solutions Toronto
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